Deal with the Root

People are hurting.
 
She was found hanging in her room of an apparent suicide. There was a note that told her daughter it wasn’t her fault. Our minds begin to speculate on how something like this could happen to her. We say things like, “But she was rich. She had an empire. She had a global brand that was synonymous with style and affordable luxury. She was pretty. She had a loving husband and a beautiful daughter. She had so much to live for.” By all outward appearances, she seemed to have everything to live for, yet she becomes a tragic headline. 

Another celebrity death dominates the news cycle, but every day people are killing themselves. They may not be using a rope, a bottle of pills, or a gun. They may not be jumping off a bridge or onto train tracks, but they’re doing it slowly and steadily.

People are in pain.

Holes of emptiness cannot be filled with fame or fortune, nor can they be filled with money, sex, substances, things, or even the love of children, spouses, or friends. Fame and a “name” can bring attention and possibly adoration. Money can buy a good therapist and lots of gadgets. Sex, drugs, and alcohol may provide temporary pleasure or escapism. Having family and friends can bring happiness and provide companionship, but none of these things make us whole.

The problem is that many people are dealing with outward symptoms, when we should be dealing with inner problems. We beat our face. We slay our hair. We work out until our bodies are slamming or cut. We find the “one.” We have children. We gain success in ministry and in the marketplace.  We get a luxury car and a house on the hill. We receive attention and affirmation, but we then we are surprised when the same problems keep recurring.

Many of us have been dealing with some of the same symptoms for years or even decades. We might address a symptom of the larger problem, but we never get to all that stuff at the bottom (the root).  Getting to the root of something means unearthing the earliest, most basic, 'deepest', cause for a given behavior. Symptoms include:
  • Lashing out in anger
  • Shutting down
  • Promiscuity or risky sexual behavior
  • Violent outbursts
  • Addiction
  • Perfectionism (yes perfectionism)
Photo by veeterzy on Unsplash
If we never get to the underlying issue of what is causing these behaviors, we will continue to repeat and even escalate them.  That’s why some of us seem to end up in the same place having the same arguments. We all feel misunderstood, undervalued, and underappreciated at times. However, if we are always in a battle with someone over something, then we need to take out the mirror and have a long look.

It is painful to deal with the root, because it requires us to go beyond the surface. We may have to go back to our childhood or early adolescence to deal with issues of rejection, abuse, or other trauma. It’s easy to dismiss some of these events as non-factors, but if we’ve never been healed from them, then they are still there. It also doesn’t mean that we merely point our finger at someone else (even if they have caused hurt). No, we must examine ourselves, our reactions, and our actions. Until we deal with our brokenness, our brokenness will continue to deal with us. 

I echo the sentiments in 3 John 1:2 - Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.

Jesus came and died on the cross, so we could be healed and whole. John 10:10 states: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I (Jesus) come that they (we) may have life and have it more abundantly. 

The bible says in James 5:13-16:  Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Please send prayer requests to kopadmin@comcast.net.

If someone is dealing with mental illness, depression, addiction, PTSD, self-harm or suicide, I urge you to seek professional help immediately. You don’t have to continue to hurt or be in pain.

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
  • Drug and Alcohol: 1-877-751-0887
  • PTSD Hotline: 1-888-457-4838
  • Eating Disorders Line: 1-866-547-6732
© 2018 by Antoinette V. Barber

Comments

Post a Comment