The Benefits of Friendship

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I am blessed to know true friendship. Unlike “friends with benefits,” true friendship is not transactional. I formed some friendships early on - from my own tribe. We grew up together with an impregnable camaraderie. We keep each other’s secrets: scandalous and sacred alike, and we protect one another with fierce loyalty. If somebody messes with one, they mess with all.  We may not always agree with one another, but we always have one another’s backs.

Then there were the other friendships that God has given me throughout my journey: during elementary, middle, and high school; during college; in the marketplace; in ministry; and through mutual connections. Friendship has taken many forms in my life, and it has been at times fleeting and enduring. It has appeared in the form of laughter and tears. It has sobbed with me in the midst of betrayal and has shouted alongside me during break-through. It has provided comforting shoulders and reality checks. It has pushed me out of my comfort zone, while comforting me. It has been a listening ear and nurturing, assuring, warning, and correcting voice.

In its purest form – it can’t be bought, sold or substituted.  It shows up in the mail in the form of a card or at a knock on the door with flowers. It may take a break but reappears in a store or a paint gallery, as if it was never gone. It brings a hug that reaches down in my soul and lifts me up high or higher depending on where I am. It has labored with me and birthed with me. It flies 2,400 miles to encourage in person.

It loves. It requires truth and respect, and it allows for mishaps and mistakes. It forgives. It evolves. It unites. It teaches and learns. It celebrates growth and transformation. It enriches, improves, and benefits. Sometimes, it sees more worth in us than we see in ourselves. 

The bible provides examples of friendships from which we can learn: Ruth and Naomi, Paul and Timothy, Elisha and Elijah, and more. David and Jonathan had a friendship for the ages. 1 Samuel demonstrates how deeply the bond were between these men.  First Samuel 18:1-4 states: After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt. Jonathan literally gave him David the clothes off his back! (Read more about their friendship in 1 Samuel 20)

Ultimately, there is no greater friendship than the one Jesus Christ has with us. Jesus said to his disciples in St. John 15:12-17: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants,[ for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.”

Let each of us hold on to the love and friendship we have for one another, but let’s cling to the One who laid down His life and continually makes petitions on our behalf. His benefits are many: love, peace, joy, hope, truth, comfort, care!  I’m sure you can think of more. Oh, what a friend we have in Jesus!

©2019 by Antoinette V. Barber